a box of emotion: sadness
by NatsuXFuyu
Summary: "smile..tears doesn't suit you, a smile is much better." AU


a box of emotions

beat one: if your sad just smile.

(yuma's pov)

astral is my childhood bestfriend, i've known everything about dreams, his problems, his family situation and his lovelife.

he always tell me everything and there is no secret between us, except one.

i've fallen for him hard...

i had this weried feeling in my chest everytime i see him. i have asked my sister once, about it and she said it was called protectiveness. but i know it was something more than that, i know that i love him. you could only imagine how many my heart was after he told me. he love kotori and he was now in a relationship with her.

i felt tears invade my eyes but i quicky wiped it before he could see it. i just smile at him and congratulate him.

like a friend i am...

days passed, he didn't went to see me or hung around me. he was so busy with schoolworks and his gf to spend time with me

a mere friend of him...

it's been days before i realize at am depressed. i don't know what possessed me but i hurt myself, it started with me pushing myself with my duels and stuffs. but it became more dangerous as the time pass. i cut, burned and stab myself in the wrist and some parts that was covered with clothes. some may call it disgusting but i love the way i bleed.

if it stop hurting, i would just repeat the process 'til i am satisfied... but when will i be satisfied? i guess it isn't now or later...

the day have finally come. the day i can no longer wear short sleeve and the day i broke.i have stopped the self-harming but i have stopped coming to school and i have stopped eating or taking care of myself..akari forced me to eat but i just ignore the food. saying

i am just not hungry. but who would believe that lie? no hungry? i haven't eatten for days..

a year passed, yet i haven't set a foot outside the i am not in my room i am in the bathroom. and i haven't seen him or anyone else. earlier that year akari-nee tried to talk to me out of it but like everyone, she failed. well EVERYONE that HAVE TIME to visit. but then the visitor ceased until no one visits anymore. i guess they have given up on me.

but today i felt extremely tired. i can barely move and i just wanna sleep. so that what i do. i closed my eyes and let the fatigue consume me. i fell asleep.

beep...beep...

i openned my eyes to see a well-lit ceiling, i rised my wrist to cover my eyes.

beep..beep..beep...

there's that sound again and it is THAT THING OFF!

beep..beep..beep..beep..

in my annoyance, i was about to stand up when to strong arms forced me to la down. i look up and saw astral..i was about to say something when kotori came in, i felt my depression hit me once more but this time full force..

"yuma.."astral started but i shut my eyes and ears.

why are you here right now? where were you when i need you? you aren't there. GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!. i literally yelled at my mind.

"y-yuma.." he said again, and his voice sounded hurt.

why does he sound hurt? no.. why should i be concern about him... no.. no... why cant i just literally yelled at him to go away!?

but the answer was clear..

i love him, i still do...

"yuma please tell me whats wrong?"he plead.

i openned my eyes and tried not to glaire at him.

"nothing that concern you"

i think it was rude. but what can i do? i am angry at him? how dare he make me fall for him and then leave my drownind..?

but i have no right to feel angry..

he glanced at kotori who nod and left. i stared at him.

why isn't he leaving like kotori does? leave! leave! leave!..please leave!?...

"yuma.. tell me why?"he plead once more.

"how annoying!? i SAID it's nothing that concerns you?!"

he look at me and shook his head.

"yuma, you cant lie to me..i have known you enough to know it was something about me.. please yuma tell me"

i growled at him..

"YES! yes it about you! its all about you! you don't know what i felt when you and you..." i cried.

"yuma..."

he went closer to comfort me but i just turned out of his reach.

"you dont know that i am heartbroken when you told me you are in love with kotori, but what am i to you? nothing.. i am just a mere friend,... but what the damned hell would you care? go away have fun with your GF!" i yelled at him.

"wh?"

"you don't even know that i love you!"

the silence fall between us, the second was enough for me to realize what i said.i blushed.

"you loved me?"

"what do you want to hear? no. stupid i hate you!."i said sarcastically.

he sat next to me and i tried to move away but there is no space or i fall..

"you know.. i am not completely honest with myself, i found out that kotori was just a crush."

"what?"i said rudely.

"i fell for someone and i am stupid to let that person go."

"so..."

he faced me and with a gentle motion he pulled me close and kissed me. i was like this..O.O.

"yuma i love you..and i am sorry for the seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days, the months, and the year that i left you to be alone. i am stupid to let you go and i am willing to pay the price just to be with you again."

i felt my tears drop to my cheecks...i am so...so happy.. but i just couldn't smile right now. the past year hunts me now.i throw myself in his arms and cried.

"i am stupid.. so stupid that i felt that way about you and... and..."i cried. he hold my wrist and i flinch.

"yuma..." he said..

still crying i look up at his and i saw the guilt in his eyes as he examine my wrist.

"do you do this because of me?" i was about to shook my head when he sighed. i decided to tell the truth.

"yes.."

he pulled me to a hug and he hold me tight.

"from now on i wont ever leave you..i am sorry.. i love you" he said silently crying.

even with tears in my eyes i smiled at him. i kissed his cheecks and said in a small voice..

"i forgive you.. but in one condition."

"what is it?"

"smile..tears doesn't suit you, a smile is much better."

-owari-

natsu: review! Review!

Fuyu: we dont own yugioh zexal


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